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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

life's test


aight real vent...i feel as tho im constantly being tested lately...not even on an attitudinal basis but on some real life shyt...im always given hard facts & situations & expected to function like everything is kool...usually good at rollin with tha punches but when u cant duck em all it gets hard...2 years ago i lost my best friend who was much more like my family not figuratively speaking...we spent majority of our time together: work, home & leisure time n when we werent together we were on tha phone or fb chat...at that time i said i wouldnt make it but God's grace, mercy and favor has carried me thus far...i still have random moments where i completely melt down but i feel as tho i deserve tha cleanse...i rarely ever react in front of ppl bc my misery does not love company...i also feel as tho ppl look 2 me 4 strength so 2 break someone else down aint my style...anyways i just got news 2day that her father committed suicide & quite honestly i was sad, angry, confused, jealous and many other emotions all at once. Sad and angry because i feel like i lost a part of my friend all over again...confused bc it came so left field and jealous bc he gets 2 b with her while tha rest of us r stuck here dreamin ab that day...anyways i say that 2 say this...many ppl say im so happy & full of life and some envy that but wut they dont c is tha work i go thru mentally 2 put myself here physically...b4 u get mad n think i have it like that kno that not 4 one minute would u want 2 try on my shoes & walk...not sayin i hav tha worst in tha world but just cherish ur position 4 what it is...God will never put u n a situation u cant handle be happy where u r

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